Such a powerful message for this time. Over the last few years I’ve slowly realized that my anger and hatred for the right was only harming me, it even made the targets of my anger stronger. I’ve had to work hard and consistently to get grounded in my own sovereign dignity and power. This piece pulls a lot of wisdom together so thanks!
This article is particularly timely for me. Having experienced close encounters with about a dozen malignant narcissists throughout my life, starting with my mother, I finally came to understand the dynamic. As a result, I instantly recognized Trump as a megalomaniacal narcissist. I knowingly allowed another connection recently with malignant narcissist. I fortified my boundaries and stuck with it for longer than I normally would, out of a sense of curiosity. I wanted to see if what I had learned would serve me. It didn’t take me very long to recognize the signs. She initially used flattery and charm, but I quickly realized she was mirroring my behaviors and opinions to convince me that we were much alike and that she was a kind and compassionate person. Once she believed that she had me, the gaslighting, condescension and demeaning began. After a couple of weeks, I became very angry when, in the course of one conversation, she criticized me repeatedly. I let her know that I was offended and why. She then shifted into a faux apology, saying that I’d never indicated to her that those behaviors offended me. I told her three consecutive times that I needed a break from the conversation. She responded by asking if I wanted to end the friendship. I told her again, that I needed a break from the discussion and I needed to think about it. She returned to a “woe is me” approach each time I reiterated my desire to take a break. I finally announced that I was hanging up and then did so. Of course she tried by text to get me to reconnect, but I reiterated that I couldn’t handle her tales of endless victimhood and her emotional volatility when people didn’t do exactly what she wanted, which was quite often. I have a calm, joyful life and can’t handle people with constant drama. I stopped all communication with her. Reading this article, I realized that my anger was not as much toward her, but with myself for being drawn in again. My purpose was to try and determine if I could manage a relationship with a narcissist in a way that was beneficial to us both. But I have realized, once again, that the only effective boundary I can set with a narcissist is 100% disconnection. I haven’t met one yet that is worth the deep emotional drain. I sure wish we could educate the population to recognize this psychopathy and how dangerous it is.
Thank you for sharing your story. It's a very familiar one. So much I could address. Children of narcissists are groomed from birth to serve a narcissist & other narcissists almost smell it on them, constantly fish for it, & instinctively try to use it against them. If you let them, they will keep trying. If you don't, they will keep trying, but will hopefully move on once you "gray rock" & "cut all ties," because then they will realize you will not provide them any narcissistic supply. Easy to lash out but that might create obsession.
I know better, but my inclination to help people overrides my common sense! My last message to her was “I hope you will respect my choice to disconnect from this friendship”. She responded positively, but we’ll see if it holds.
Obviously I can only comment on a superficial level but it is standard narcissist not respect anything you say despite their words. Almost 100% she will try again later with some sob story because they sense how your grooming makes your desire to help people override your common sense. If interested, a year subscription comes with a 45 min consultation on anything the subscriber wants to discuss.
Very good read! It got me thinking about how I have been feeling so helpless lately with the constant barrage of damaging & quite frankly dangerous actions by the current administration, mainly the 😈🎪🤡 in the WH. I have a very difficult time even saying that POS name, that’s where my anger lies.
✨️Lovely, pertinent read ! US and world citizens will need to use this mantra very often, in view of the current horrors and those to come...✨️
Such a powerful message for this time. Over the last few years I’ve slowly realized that my anger and hatred for the right was only harming me, it even made the targets of my anger stronger. I’ve had to work hard and consistently to get grounded in my own sovereign dignity and power. This piece pulls a lot of wisdom together so thanks!
This article is particularly timely for me. Having experienced close encounters with about a dozen malignant narcissists throughout my life, starting with my mother, I finally came to understand the dynamic. As a result, I instantly recognized Trump as a megalomaniacal narcissist. I knowingly allowed another connection recently with malignant narcissist. I fortified my boundaries and stuck with it for longer than I normally would, out of a sense of curiosity. I wanted to see if what I had learned would serve me. It didn’t take me very long to recognize the signs. She initially used flattery and charm, but I quickly realized she was mirroring my behaviors and opinions to convince me that we were much alike and that she was a kind and compassionate person. Once she believed that she had me, the gaslighting, condescension and demeaning began. After a couple of weeks, I became very angry when, in the course of one conversation, she criticized me repeatedly. I let her know that I was offended and why. She then shifted into a faux apology, saying that I’d never indicated to her that those behaviors offended me. I told her three consecutive times that I needed a break from the conversation. She responded by asking if I wanted to end the friendship. I told her again, that I needed a break from the discussion and I needed to think about it. She returned to a “woe is me” approach each time I reiterated my desire to take a break. I finally announced that I was hanging up and then did so. Of course she tried by text to get me to reconnect, but I reiterated that I couldn’t handle her tales of endless victimhood and her emotional volatility when people didn’t do exactly what she wanted, which was quite often. I have a calm, joyful life and can’t handle people with constant drama. I stopped all communication with her. Reading this article, I realized that my anger was not as much toward her, but with myself for being drawn in again. My purpose was to try and determine if I could manage a relationship with a narcissist in a way that was beneficial to us both. But I have realized, once again, that the only effective boundary I can set with a narcissist is 100% disconnection. I haven’t met one yet that is worth the deep emotional drain. I sure wish we could educate the population to recognize this psychopathy and how dangerous it is.
Thank you for sharing your story. It's a very familiar one. So much I could address. Children of narcissists are groomed from birth to serve a narcissist & other narcissists almost smell it on them, constantly fish for it, & instinctively try to use it against them. If you let them, they will keep trying. If you don't, they will keep trying, but will hopefully move on once you "gray rock" & "cut all ties," because then they will realize you will not provide them any narcissistic supply. Easy to lash out but that might create obsession.
I know better, but my inclination to help people overrides my common sense! My last message to her was “I hope you will respect my choice to disconnect from this friendship”. She responded positively, but we’ll see if it holds.
Obviously I can only comment on a superficial level but it is standard narcissist not respect anything you say despite their words. Almost 100% she will try again later with some sob story because they sense how your grooming makes your desire to help people override your common sense. If interested, a year subscription comes with a 45 min consultation on anything the subscriber wants to discuss.
Very good read! It got me thinking about how I have been feeling so helpless lately with the constant barrage of damaging & quite frankly dangerous actions by the current administration, mainly the 😈🎪🤡 in the WH. I have a very difficult time even saying that POS name, that’s where my anger lies.