After many yrs in relationship with narcissistically wounded individuals, I learned how to extract myself (my mind) from the dysfunction that developed. It's a difficult journey to deconstruct from codependency. The freedom is worth it. One needs to develop complete autonomy to fully disconnect.
The collective narcissism that we see at work in the lizard brains of mislead souls around the world is rearing its ugly head. I write about how to free ourselves from their influence in my SS. I greatly appreciate Sam's work here. My new post on it's way soon.
Now, if only we could find a collective recognition that Narcissism-1 (Born without Empathy) is passed on through fathers' DNA - which makes it Not heal-able, but possibly eradicable.
And Must Be Eradicated.
Narcissism-2 is a much weakened and more common form: the person is born with Empathy (most often from the mother's line), but abuse/trauma (even in the womb), usually generational, turns the Empathy off. This is the possibly-heal-able form, through counseling and physical/alternative therapies. I know because this is my personal and family experience. The turning back on of my Empathy was a physically and emotionally stunning, if time consuming, experience.
My father's direct line was slavers back to 1500 that we know of, and probably all the way back to the ice age (stuck behind the Caucasus Mtns for 15,000 years - imagine the trauma...). But my mother's father was from a corner/line of Ireland never pillaged/rape-transformed by the narcissist hordes.
As I get older, I try not to be pulled into the game of, "How can you not see the wall you are about to run into?" with others. I have had what has been lovingly dubbed as "Askholes" come to me for advice, ignore it, and later cry upon my shoulder after really obvious thing happens.
Try as I might, I often have a hard time mustering sympathy in such a situation, although lord knows I have made my own dumb mistakes. I suppose it is akin to feeling dissed, like someone valued your opinion enough to ask, but decided not to follow said advice and learned the hard way despite your desire for them not to be hurt. The flip side of this, of course, is that we cannot control the actions of others, everyone has to live life and make mistakes to learn, so is it fair to be upset? I try not to gloat, but I admit to feeling hellah peeved.
Still, we have all done stupid crap, so I can only feel so aggrieved. I do not blame others for feeling the same kinda WTF Alicia at me in that role reversal. As I grow older, I have come to a "pick your battles" kind of place, where I temper my love and care with the knowledge that I cannot control the actions of others, I can only be there for when the inevitable comes and try not to "I told yah so--" even when and if it merits...
Thanks for this, as usual a most insightful piece :-)
I relate to 100% of this piece. In 2016, I was so stressed about the impact of Trump on our future and I knew he was 100% owned by Putin. My family said I was overreacting and that I seemed nuts! Here we are. I will subscribe to learn how to do better and handle the burden of Cassandra.
Thanks & Welcome. Indeed many of us faced & still face mountains of doubters despite obvious truths. Thankfully, psychology usually informs us who isn't worth wasting time on.
Absolutely Brilliant article this morning ☕ You should publish your work, seriously. As we navigate through this world in this day and age, I'm convinced that I've been in contact with these types of individuals on a daily basis. Great Job here Thank You,Sam Ray 💯👍🇺🇸💙🌊🌊🌊
Thank you for the supportive words Karen. It is certainly the plan to get CNI more out there when time & resources permit. Indeed the numbers tell us everyone regularly comes in contact with narcissists, but this reality is obscured by those who should be educating us. https://samray.substack.com/p/psychiatry-and-psychology-are-failing
Most welcome. A powerful reminder is narcissists gaslight to exhaust so the prey gives in or gives up. Based on this, CNI philosophy informs that if we can logically recognize & define this kind of psychological manipulation in the moment, it loses most of its power over us.
As a student in the early 70’s, before Watergate, many of us , living just 4 blocks away from the WH, despised Nixon. We knew his lies, his hypocrisies, the narcissism ( “when the president does it, it’s not against the law”). The Kent State killings, the expansion of the VN war into Cambodia ( literally bombing the country back to the Stone Age) and he finally hit that wall known as Watergate. But it took many players, with integrity to get him not just removed from political power but to become a pariah. I think this will happen again. Millions voted for Nixon for selfish reasons and the same for trump ( although many are just angry, left behind , just don’t know what else to do but follow the histrionic shiny object). The fall will be monumental and not without the insight and “Cassandra-like” help of CNI and others.
Are you still confident that tRumPutin will face the 'monumental fall' that ended Nixon? I wish I could be. We knew it would be a disaster, but...Hell is empty and all the devils are here - and being installed in every part of our government. I'm not religious at all, but I'm seeing close parallels to the Book of Revelation. Anti-Christ? ✔️ Famine? Check ✔️ Wars? Check ✔️ Planet destroyed? Check ✔️
Paula, while I appreciate your enthusiasm, please refrain from political doom & gloom comments. CNI is not a place to vent political frustrations. It is a place for solutions.
Character counts, but I really think we have a generation that rolled around in the reality TV muck and they're just not able/willing to make that a priority.
Super appreciate all the knowledge you share! I was always poo-pooed whenever I said anything that I felt (new) re: others behaviour, then dismissed as if it was just coincidence when I was proven right! You are uplifting my self-worth with each insight you write about! To be fair tho, not until I was married did I/we figure out that I could feel things coming… (often those things were people 🙃)!!!
Now that the worst has finally happened, tRumPutin has been re-elected and is rapidly filling his cabinet with the Star Wars cantina, and Project 2025 has been put into place, what on earth can we do to survive? I get zero joy in being able to say "I tried to warn you".
I'm grateful to have found you, and this place for all the Cassandras. I was raised by a narcissist, so I am all too familiar with the hopelessness of waiting for the epiphany that turns them into a human. We are so f-ing doomed.
Y'all are way beyond me in comprehending the minutia of what's going on, but I do wonder about one thing: WHY has someone not made the case that J.D. Vance is smarter, craftier, younger, better looking than Donald Trump? That indeed might just encourage DJT to oust his running mate. (And, y'all, I am not making a joke; I am serious as a heart attack!)
After many yrs in relationship with narcissistically wounded individuals, I learned how to extract myself (my mind) from the dysfunction that developed. It's a difficult journey to deconstruct from codependency. The freedom is worth it. One needs to develop complete autonomy to fully disconnect.
The collective narcissism that we see at work in the lizard brains of mislead souls around the world is rearing its ugly head. I write about how to free ourselves from their influence in my SS. I greatly appreciate Sam's work here. My new post on it's way soon.
Very pleased CNI is a positive in your healing process.
Good work, both!
Now, if only we could find a collective recognition that Narcissism-1 (Born without Empathy) is passed on through fathers' DNA - which makes it Not heal-able, but possibly eradicable.
And Must Be Eradicated.
Narcissism-2 is a much weakened and more common form: the person is born with Empathy (most often from the mother's line), but abuse/trauma (even in the womb), usually generational, turns the Empathy off. This is the possibly-heal-able form, through counseling and physical/alternative therapies. I know because this is my personal and family experience. The turning back on of my Empathy was a physically and emotionally stunning, if time consuming, experience.
My father's direct line was slavers back to 1500 that we know of, and probably all the way back to the ice age (stuck behind the Caucasus Mtns for 15,000 years - imagine the trauma...). But my mother's father was from a corner/line of Ireland never pillaged/rape-transformed by the narcissist hordes.
As I get older, I try not to be pulled into the game of, "How can you not see the wall you are about to run into?" with others. I have had what has been lovingly dubbed as "Askholes" come to me for advice, ignore it, and later cry upon my shoulder after really obvious thing happens.
Try as I might, I often have a hard time mustering sympathy in such a situation, although lord knows I have made my own dumb mistakes. I suppose it is akin to feeling dissed, like someone valued your opinion enough to ask, but decided not to follow said advice and learned the hard way despite your desire for them not to be hurt. The flip side of this, of course, is that we cannot control the actions of others, everyone has to live life and make mistakes to learn, so is it fair to be upset? I try not to gloat, but I admit to feeling hellah peeved.
Still, we have all done stupid crap, so I can only feel so aggrieved. I do not blame others for feeling the same kinda WTF Alicia at me in that role reversal. As I grow older, I have come to a "pick your battles" kind of place, where I temper my love and care with the knowledge that I cannot control the actions of others, I can only be there for when the inevitable comes and try not to "I told yah so--" even when and if it merits...
Thanks for this, as usual a most insightful piece :-)
I feel you!
I relate to 100% of this piece. In 2016, I was so stressed about the impact of Trump on our future and I knew he was 100% owned by Putin. My family said I was overreacting and that I seemed nuts! Here we are. I will subscribe to learn how to do better and handle the burden of Cassandra.
Thanks & Welcome. Indeed many of us faced & still face mountains of doubters despite obvious truths. Thankfully, psychology usually informs us who isn't worth wasting time on.
Absolutely Brilliant article this morning ☕ You should publish your work, seriously. As we navigate through this world in this day and age, I'm convinced that I've been in contact with these types of individuals on a daily basis. Great Job here Thank You,Sam Ray 💯👍🇺🇸💙🌊🌊🌊
Thank you for the supportive words Karen. It is certainly the plan to get CNI more out there when time & resources permit. Indeed the numbers tell us everyone regularly comes in contact with narcissists, but this reality is obscured by those who should be educating us. https://samray.substack.com/p/psychiatry-and-psychology-are-failing
As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods
They kill us for their sport
~ Julius Caesar , Act One
Thank you for this piece. . . Although unaware of the Cassandra Complex, I’ve long thought much the same.
Pleased CNI provided a useful framework for your thoughts.
Great piece. Thanks 🙏… and for the background, progression and inspiration to go on… 😌
Most welcome. A powerful reminder is narcissists gaslight to exhaust so the prey gives in or gives up. Based on this, CNI philosophy informs that if we can logically recognize & define this kind of psychological manipulation in the moment, it loses most of its power over us.
As a student in the early 70’s, before Watergate, many of us , living just 4 blocks away from the WH, despised Nixon. We knew his lies, his hypocrisies, the narcissism ( “when the president does it, it’s not against the law”). The Kent State killings, the expansion of the VN war into Cambodia ( literally bombing the country back to the Stone Age) and he finally hit that wall known as Watergate. But it took many players, with integrity to get him not just removed from political power but to become a pariah. I think this will happen again. Millions voted for Nixon for selfish reasons and the same for trump ( although many are just angry, left behind , just don’t know what else to do but follow the histrionic shiny object). The fall will be monumental and not without the insight and “Cassandra-like” help of CNI and others.
I really liked the Thiel and Musk comment.
Are you still confident that tRumPutin will face the 'monumental fall' that ended Nixon? I wish I could be. We knew it would be a disaster, but...Hell is empty and all the devils are here - and being installed in every part of our government. I'm not religious at all, but I'm seeing close parallels to the Book of Revelation. Anti-Christ? ✔️ Famine? Check ✔️ Wars? Check ✔️ Planet destroyed? Check ✔️
Paula, while I appreciate your enthusiasm, please refrain from political doom & gloom comments. CNI is not a place to vent political frustrations. It is a place for solutions.
Character counts, but I really think we have a generation that rolled around in the reality TV muck and they're just not able/willing to make that a priority.
Reality TV was a major narcissistic grooming mechanism, but it was one of many.
Super appreciate all the knowledge you share! I was always poo-pooed whenever I said anything that I felt (new) re: others behaviour, then dismissed as if it was just coincidence when I was proven right! You are uplifting my self-worth with each insight you write about! To be fair tho, not until I was married did I/we figure out that I could feel things coming… (often those things were people 🙃)!!!
Coincidentally, a main tell of a narcissist is attacking someone’s self-worth.
Yep, had at least one of those around!
Now that the worst has finally happened, tRumPutin has been re-elected and is rapidly filling his cabinet with the Star Wars cantina, and Project 2025 has been put into place, what on earth can we do to survive? I get zero joy in being able to say "I tried to warn you".
I'm grateful to have found you, and this place for all the Cassandras. I was raised by a narcissist, so I am all too familiar with the hopelessness of waiting for the epiphany that turns them into a human. We are so f-ing doomed.
Y'all are way beyond me in comprehending the minutia of what's going on, but I do wonder about one thing: WHY has someone not made the case that J.D. Vance is smarter, craftier, younger, better looking than Donald Trump? That indeed might just encourage DJT to oust his running mate. (And, y'all, I am not making a joke; I am serious as a heart attack!)
To paraphrase someone below: "excellent, as usual."
I do hope, though, that you will quickly find and replace the Nuclear Arsenal Map with an up-to-date one!
Kamala seems to have a good instinct for the psychology so if she wins🤞🏻, we should be ok.