Tells, Triggers and Battlefields

CNI in Action - Weaponizing Paradoxes Against Narcissists Part II

Almost everywhere on social media there will always be trolls. Thankfully there are far, far fewer on Substack than Twitter. Yes, I am trolling Elon by calling it Twitter, but he is likely trolling the world with his childish mind by calling it X, so he started it ; ) While I have no interest or desire to troll trolls, sometimes someone says something that makes it too hard to resist, and/or there is a must to call abusers out on their BS.

I recently had one of those occasions with Ben Shapiro. He said something epically stupid, divisive and toxic (aka Shapiro’s daily fare) about the concept of Woke, so I kind of responded in a trollish way and picked up a troll/narcissist in the process. On the bright side, it turned into a nice bookend piece to CNI in Action on Weaponizing Paradoxes Against Narcissists.

In Part I, once the seemingly true believer troll was presented with a narcissist’s paradox, they went off to rethink their life much faster and easier than most. This piece is an opposite example because this more grandiose person did not go away, and kept trying to draw me into their battlefield.

This is a lesson in how weaponized paradoxes can reveal and trigger trolls, and then used in counter-moves against a narcissist’s compulsive need to ignore reality in a single-minded mission to drag you into the same dark, ambiguous and trauma-filled unreality battlefield where their own unhealthy narcissism was groomed, gaslit and can be justified.

Sam Ray

If you want to learn about the psychology of woke & give a big FU to toxic Ben Shapiro, here you go.

If you will be triggered or just irritated by an extreme conflation of the most toxic and divisive BS conspiracies about “woke,” into meaningless narcissistic drivel, it is probably best to skip over what Binary “Progressive” says and just read my responses.

Binary “Progressive”

Wow, this article has issues on multiple levels. First, there are plenty of progressive, liberal Democrats who oppose the extremist views represented by the “woke.” Bill Maher and the guests he highlights on his show are a prime example. The “woke” claim support from the entire left, but that’s not reality.

The “woke” consider themselves progressive and more advanced than the rest of society. I see them as proponents of regressive ideologies that lack a basis in factual reality. For example, we used to want a colorblind society that judged people “on the content of their character.” Now, the “woke” simply state that all white folks are implicitly racist and black folks have no power and can’t be racist. This is regressive nonsense.

This “live and let live nonsense” is not supported by the “woke.” They insist on pushing men where they don’t belong such as women’s changing rooms, women’s prisons, and women’s sports. The “woke” push “gender affirming care” which results in sterilization, genital mutilation, and lifelong medicalization. It results in trans detransitioners who then have to live in permanently broken bodies.

As for facts, the “woke” constantly get that wrong and ignore reality. Men have penises. Women have vaginas. Sex is dimorphic and doesn’t change. Trans folks have mental issues that needs therapy, not drugs and surgery. Not all white folks are racist. And, there are plenty of racist black people.

And, the absolute worst, is that the “woke” refuse to debate on the issues. If you don’t 100% agree with their proclamations, then you’re labeled “racist” or “transphobic.” They will then insult you, physically threaten you, and try to get you fired from your job. My prime example comes from the TERF is a slur website. Peruse those images if you think the “woke” are victims.

OK so there are a lot of interesting tells and potential clues to examine and unpack in this diatribe.

First and foremost, he was basically saying The Psychology of Woke Part II is a bad article with several inaccuracies. O.K. This is the first time I had heard anything negative about the article, but since I am only ever trying to channel the best and most accurate information, I am always willing to listen to constructive criticism that helps me find the greatest truth, without fear or favor, so normally say, “bring it.”

He started off with, “there are plenty of progressive, liberal Democrats who oppose the extremist views represented by the, “woke.” First clue was maybe nothing but I don’t ever recall seeing the three words “progressive, liberal Democrats” used as a phrase in this way, so seemed potentially contrived. Now it would have been reasonable to say many progressives, liberals and Democrats oppose “extremist woke views,” because there are some “woke” views that seem to go too far, hence the term “extreme,” so maybe that was what he meant.

However, the next clue also seems quite suspicious. Using Bill Maher as his example of his “progressive, liberal Democrat” seemed ridiculous given Maher’s turn towards Islamophobia, anti-wokeism and a variety of other outlier examples, to the point where Maher may still call himself a “progressive or liberal,” since his at least partial turn to the dark side, but not many progressives or liberals are buying that anymore.

I was a long time fan of Maher, but got bored with the same routine several years ago so stopped watching him, and he seems to have been slipping further away from the Bill Maher I used to know and love ever since. There is the possibility that much of Maher’s liberal audience got bored like I did, so he started saying things Islamophobic and anti-woke to attract new audiences. It is cynical and I hope I am wrong, but it fits the facts.

Of course I also don’t believe in wasting much time on trolls so I wanted to get some idea who I was dealing with, to cut to the chase faster.

He did subscribe to some progressives and liberals but very few progressives or liberals would subscribe to the far right, anti-LGBTQ, “Libs of Tik Tok,” so that was a big red flag of suspicious behavior, to go along with what seemed a lot like scripted standard talking points and a website to pitch. Then there was the bio.

Bio: “Progressive. Atheist. Democrat. Software Engineer, Gender critical.”

Admittedly, I had no idea what “Gender critical” was and I think I ignored it at first glance because it was so ambiguous, weird and/or foreign to me, and I usually like weird and foreign. It just did not compute at first but it would be a big clue.

gender-critical - adjective

believing that sex is a fact of biology that cannot be changed, and doubting the idea of gender identity (= a person's feeling of being male, female, or another identity, especially when this is different from the sex they were said to have at birth):

So this “Progressive. Atheist. Democrat. Software engineer” claimed to believe that all men are only 100% man and all women are only 100% woman as a fact of biology, as if there is no variation among the billions of humans. I guess he never heard of the women who produce so much extra testosterone naturally that they must take suppressants to be allowed to compete in women’s sports, or of men who produce extra estrogen. That is certainly not progressive thinking, and definitely not scientific.

It is only basic logic that if people’s natural chemical make-up can be different from average, gender is not 100% binary. Logic plus reason says the correct and honest answer is there are more than only binary humans. It is Mother Nature’s variation, just like some humans are empaths, most are normies and some are malignant narcissists.

As the human brain varies, the human body varies, so it is suspicious and sad when people find this obvious fact of nature so scary and dangerous to their belief system. Best case scenario, they are groomed to be simplistic black and white thinkers. Worst case scenario, they are psychological vampires preying on the insecurities of ignorant and bigoted people.

Sam Ray

It’s interesting you use the same extremist definition of woke that the anti-woke use & conflate extremist woke views with what normal woke people think. Perhaps you should read the entire piece before parroting the anti-woke view of things. I was a longtime fan of Bill Maher but to still call him a progressive or liberal shows you really aren’t paying attention, being manipulated &/or hearing what you want to hear.

Binary “Progressive”

You’re splitting hairs using the “no true Scotsman” fallacy. There is no “extremist” and “normal” group of woke people. There’s only one group of the woke.

I did read the entire article. It’s full of logical fallacies and factual inaccuracies. I already pointed out some of them.

And no, I don’t identify as “anti-woke.” I identify as a progressive liberal, which woke people are not. The woke are a bunch of regressives pushing sexist and racist ideologies that border on religious fanaticism. Gender ideology promotes sexist stereotypes of men and women. CRT promotes racist views of white people. If you insist on everyone accepting your views with no discussion, then you’re no different from a religious ideologue who treats dissent as blasphemy.

Bill Maher’s views have not changed. He’s still just as progressive and liberal as he’s always been. What’s changed is the political landscape around him.

Sam Ray

You are pure comedy dude. Right off the bat you reveal to everyone you are a black & white thinker who willingly or intellectually doesn’t grasp the concepts of nuance and spectrum, so you are like talking to a two-dimentional creature in a 3D world who can’t see what is above or below.

Your 2D view of the world is so boring and highly indicates you are a narcissist. This conversation is over because you’re spewing anti-woke propaganda with your black & white thinking whether you know it or not. So riddle me this. Narcissists always have to have the last word so you have two choices. You can just shut up & go away because there is nothing for you here or prove me right that you are a narcissist by responding in any way to this final notice.

At this point I figured it was 60/40 that he would not just go away because there was a lot of conscious or unconscious arrogant delusion here, so there was a good chance that he would keep it going.

Binary “Progressive”

One, narcissism is defined by more than simply wanting the last word. For someone who writes a blog labelled “Counter-Narcissist Intelligence,” you should know that already.

Two, attempting to shut down a discussion through this ploy is juvinile. You couldn’t let the conversation drop. Using your ridculously short definition of what constitutes narcissism, that makes you just as narcissistic as me.

This whole ruse proves my point that the woke can’t and won’t defend their positions. Further, you did exactly what I predicted in a previous statement by insulting me. It’s likely because your positions are weak, my points are valid, and you can’t logically defend them. You would rather take the easy route of attacking me, which is an ad hominem logical fallacy. My points still stand on their own merit regardless of how I think or whether I’m a narcissist or not.

Funny, I never said wanting the last word is the definition of narcissism. I said it was a compulsion. What a non-surprise someone was compulsed to keep trying to suck me into their battlefield of BS.

Sam Ray

The narcissist reveals himself.

Binary “Progressive”

You continue proving me right. From earlier in this thread.

“And, the absolute worst, is that the “woke” refuse to debate on the issues. If you don’t 100% agree with their proclamations, then you’re labeled “racist” or “transphobic.” They will then insult you, physically threaten you, and try to get you fired from your job. My prime example comes from the TERF is a slur website. Peruse those images if you think the “woke” are victims.”

Note the second promotional pitch of their anti-woke website.

So since my first narcissist’s paradox did not work, I was ready to end it, so I pulled out the big gun.

Sam Ray

Who hurt you?

“Who hurt you” is a big gun because most narcissists were build by trauma, so it triggers them. The hope is of course they realize it an seek help to heal if they can. This big gun paradox did seem to make him go away but I figured I would wait 24 hours just to test if he was compulsed to come at me again.

As time went by, it seemed like the big gun paradox worked per usual, so when the 24 hours were up, I planned to block him, and share lessons learned with the community.

Unfortunately, that plan crashed and burned when a clever Substack friend Mitch Blatt tried to talk some sense into him by using truth, common sense and logic. This of course is also triggering to a narcissist, because truth, common sense and logic are rarely their friends.

Mitchell Blatt - Five O'Clock on Substack

“There’s only one group of the woke.”

You are making up fake words and using them in ways that don’t produce meaning. You said there is “only one group of the woke.” You can’t even define the concept you manufactured.

Furthermore, even if you were using “the woke” to refer to some group of people who subscribe to a political ideology you disagree with, you still wouldn’t be making sense because you lumped all of the people you view as enemies into one group without addressing the individuals.

Binary “Progressive”

One, Sam Ray started this conversation by posting an article and mentioning the “psychology of woke.” He didn’t define the term “woke” before using it. Why should I? Odd that you’d get on my case about definitions but not Ray.

Two, no one asked me for a definition. And yes, I can define the term. "Woke” is the group of people who are overly sensitive and reactive to issues of social justice. As such, there is no “extreme woke” or “normal woke,” there is just “woke.”

Finally, groups are comprised of individuals. We can talk about people individually. We can also talk about people as members of a group. Both ways of referencing people are valid forms of discussion.

Sam Ray

Funny, you just accused me of not defining woke but instead you just proved you didn’t read the whole article like you said you did & also make things up to justify the stupidity you spew, so at least you are consistently dishonest. Woke is well defined in Part I. Someone must have hurt you very badly to make you such a narcissist. Who hurt you?

As expected, since it was clear he could not drag me to his battlefield, he blocked me.

Protip: If someone blocks you and you wanted to be rid of them yourself, be sure to still block them, because it makes no sense to be blocked from seeing the troll but letting them see you.

I understand how much of this seems like normal anti-woke black and white thinking but that is also the point. So many selfish, myopic, entitled, and egotistical beliefs and behaviors out there are far more perfectly aligned with traits of narcissism than the vast majority of the world’s best and brightest realize, apparently because they have never dealt with it, don’t see it, don’t want to see it or know they don’t want the people outside their tight narcissistic circle of control to know who and what they really are.

What I hope you take away from this is debating someone who is not coming from a place of intellectual honesty is mostly pointless and a waste of your energy. In other words, do your best to resist getting sucked into what ever BS Manichean (black and white) argument they are trying to suck you into, although when in the right mood, a little exposing and then blocking narcissists from time to time can help others online see them for who they are, and be a little frustration therapeutic stress release for you.

If you don’t take their bait and can stay on your psychological battlefield based in reality, since reality is to their disadvantage, they will usually sense you are not worth the trouble, because you will not play on their terms, and thus they will not get the narcissistic supply out of you they crave. Or you can just block them after you have exposed them and/or are done testing your own counter-narcissist theories and skills.

Indeed one of the most important rules of dealing with a narcissist psychologically is to always try to stay on your battlefield. Know you will almost never win on their battlefield, because it is an illogical, dark and bottomless pit of depravity. It is much like Star Wars in the sense that once a narcissist goes to the dark side, it is rare to come back towards the light.

Conclusion

I do realize that while asking “Who hurt you?” is a powerful and triggering paradox question for a narcissist, it can seem mean. However, since these are normally people whole bully, harass and troll innocents to feel big, for them to experience a brushback pitch is good for them and society, at least in the short term. Over the long-term, they learn and adapt to what works for them and what does not. If a grandiose narcissist gets brushed back enough, they usually become more sneaky and covert.

One of the fun and inspiring parts about CNI writings is knowing how much most narcissists will absolutely hate it all, how many will not be able to stand reading any of it, and if they do, they will not get most of the psychological abstractions anyway. It cuts too deep and often to the core of why most are the way they are, due to trauma. i.e. Most narcissist’s lives are all about denying their trauma which is why the truth is so triggering to them.

However, I do not take pleasure in trolling trolls or enjoy psychologically jousting with narcissists. It is fun because I need to make it fun as a shield against their darkness. Remember, narcissists have little to no guilt, shame or remorse when it comes to taking you or innocents down into the dark bottomless pits of their empty souls, so we all need to protect ourselves with whatever armor works if you go there.

Folks with honest souls rightly try to limit negativity in their lives, hence part of the inherent and eternal conflict between good and evil. I for one only want positivity but that is not our world, so if you feel strong and want to test yourself online, be sure you know exactly who and what you are up against, and to have a plan. However, most emphatically do not try to test a narcissist in real life because then you become their mission, and as most of you know, that is not a role you want to go looking for.

I know it sounds like cliche or at least basic common sense but I cannot emphasize enough to try to see the signs that are often there, to avoid narcissist battlefields and always do your best to choose your own battlefield when or if you must battle.

It does not matter if you are up against a narcissistic individual, group, business or political party in name only. Ideally you can avoid a battle because you definitely always want to avoid fighting a pig in his favorite mud when you can.

If you feel guilty about it or it seems like you are being unfair, you are right, but a narcissist will never ever play fair with you unless forced. You are not cheating or joining the dark side. You are being tough, strong and resolute, which is the only choice a narcissist will give you besides submission.

Never forget narcissists are always trying to drag you down into their disordered mind and unreality battlefield because trauma and chaos are their old friends. That is why on most level-headed and reality-based battlefields, they lose many of their instinctive predatory advantages. Hence, a reality battlefield of your choosing is where to best trigger the tells of most trolls and narcissists, when you need to reveal or defeat one.

Sam Ray © 2023 Counter-Narcissist Intelligence