Religious Narcissists - I Speak For God

A Spiritual Abuse Warning

Having extensively thought and written about how narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths use religion and/or cults for the usual suspects of wealth, power, fame, protection, hiding their disordered deviancy in plain sight, and to gain dominance and control over others, I know a good summary when I see one.

Here are the assembled threads on Religious Narcissists that a social media friend was kind enough to let me share with the CNI audience.

We welcome all wisdom that evangelizes about dangerous forms of narcissism as @SpockResists does here. I might quibble with a few Narcissist vs. Narcissism blurred lines, but the message about pathological narcissist behavior in all religions is a true and powerful one from this experienced perspective, so a worthy add to our database.

Religious Narcissists - I Speak For God - A Spiritual Abuse Warning by @SpockResists

God Wants You To Do This…Listen To Me…Because I Speak For God.

Religious narcissism is a term that has been used to describe a personality type that is excessively preoccupied with their own religious beliefs and self-importance. They may also be convinced that their religion is the only true way of life.

Religious narcissists often feel entitled to special treatment from other people because they believe that they are superior due to their religious beliefs. They may also be hypersensitive to criticism or ridicule of their religion, and they may react angrily or defensively whenever this happens.

Religious narcissists take pleasure in dominating and manipulating others through their religion.

Religious narcissists often display some common warning signs that should set off alarm bells in your mind. They might be overly critical of others, boast about their superior knowledge or skills, or act entitled and self-righteous. If someone is exhibiting any of these behaviors, it’s best to avoid them altogether.

People who make you feel uncomfortable are often religious narcissists. They thrive off of your fear and insecurity and will do anything to keep you close. Stay away from people like this.

Religious narcissists are people who thrive off of manipulating others and controlling their thoughts and actions. Narcissists often use religion to build themselves up and take advantage of others. The narcissist whose source of authority is religious is looking for obedient and unquestioning slaves upon whom to exercise their capricious and wicked mastery.

The narcissist transforms even the most innocuous and pure religious sentiments into a cultish ritual and a virulent hierarchy. They prey on the gullible.

Religious narcissists have delusions of superiority. And need almost constant reassurance that they’re above ordinary folk.

Religion gives them the superiority they feel is their birthright.

The narcissist can be “holier than thou”. And be religiously superior to you. Most religious texts are long, complicated, and open to interpretation. This is excellent news for narcissists, because they can bend the meanings to suit their agendas.

Narcissists can usually find or bend a passage to fit whatever they want. And use this to gain compliance from those around them. The formula is simple. They quote a passage they’ve memorized, then explain its “true” meaning. Which is whatever they want it to be.

They know it’s difficult to argue with something that’s “written”. Even if they skew the meaning. For instance a narcissist may interpret, “Honor your father and mother”, as meaning “do as I say without question”!

Narcissists love controlling people and telling them what to do. And religion gives them this opportunity. They can tell you that you should pray more. Read the holy book. Visit the place of worship more. Do this. Don’t do that. The list is endless.

Most religions are complicated. And you’re unlikely to comply with everything. Especially with the narcissists creative and restrictive interpretations. Because whatever you do is likely to be wrong in their eyes. The narcissist can then boss you around, yet appear like a saint.

Under the guise of doing it for your own good. But really they just like telling people what to do. Centuries of culture has conditioned us to assume that religious people are good. And narcissists play on this with gusto.

Religious narcissists are social chameleons. And change who they are depending on who’s around, and what they want. They spend their lives playing roles to take advantage of situations. And they use this skill set to make the most of their religious standing.

The religious narcissist can do whatever they want in their home life. They can lie, cheat, and abuse their family. Then once a week, visit their place of worship, and play the righteous upstanding citizen. And receive a standing ovation for their depiction.

As I’ve already mentioned, people often assume that religious people are good people. So this provides the perfect smokescreen for narcissists to hide their narcissistic behaviors. If someone gets wind of their bad behavior, they often assume it must be a mistake. Or a lie. Because how can someone so religious, do something bad?

Religious narcissists may also use religion to excuse bad behaviors. And make serious transgressions seem almost trivial. The narcissist may admit they’ve “sinned”. Or “strayed from their path”. Then talk about praying for forgiveness, as if this makes everything alright.

Instead of learning from their mistakes, they’re in damage limitation mode. And skillfully use their religion to minimize the damage to their reputation. And may even come out of it looking good. But in reality, the only thing they learnt from their “mistake” is to not get caught next time.

Spiritual Abuse

So I wrote a thread about religious narcissists, now I will explain the “spiritual abuse” they inflict on people. People close to them and people they don’t even know. We talk of abuse but spiritual abuse never seems to be on the radar. It’s time that should change because many other abuses fall under that umbrella. Because religious narcissists will cause spiritual abuse in the form of physical, sexual and emotional abuse. Any attempt to exert power and control over someone using religion, faith, or beliefs can be spiritual abuse.

One form of spiritual abuse, religious abuse, takes place within a religious organization. An example of religious abuse is a religious leader using scripture or beliefs to coerce or control the behavior of members of the organization.

You may be experiencing religious or spiritual abuse if a religious leader has: Used scripture or beliefs to humiliate or embarrass you. Coerced you into giving money or other resources that you didn’t want to give. Forced you to be intimate or have sex that you didn’t want. Made you feel pressured or obligated to do things against your will. These abusive tactics are found both in large, well-recognized faith organizations and in cults.

Often, leaders of pseudo-religious groups will use spirituality as a way to exert control over followers. This can have serious consequences for adults and children. These people will shame, make fun of, or ridicule your religious beliefs or practices. Prevent you from practicing your religion in the way you would like. Use your beliefs to manipulate or bully you. Demand that your children be raised with/without a certain religion. Use religious texts or beliefs to justify other kinds of abuse (physical, sexual, financial, etc.)

Spiritual abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse. It is characterized by a systematic pattern of coercive and controlling behavior in a religious context. They will use manipulation and exploitation, enforced accountability, censorship of decision making, requirements for secrecy and silence, coercion to conform, [inability to ask questions] control through the use of sacred texts or teaching, requirement of obedience to the abuser, the suggestion that the abuser has a ‘divine’ position, isolation as a means of punishment, and superiority and elitism.

Spiritual abuse is abuse administered under the guise of religion, including harassment or humiliation that may result in psychological trauma.

Spiritual abuse may also include the misuse of religion for selfish, secular, or ideological ends, such as the abuse of a clerical position.

Examples of religious abuse include using religious teachings to justify abuse, enforcing strict religious rules and practices that are harmful, shaming or ostracizing individuals who do not conform to religious norms, using religious authority to manipulate or control others, and denying access to medical care or other basic needs in the name of religion. These abusers will attack anyone that doesn’t believe what they believe. Because they are religious narcissists, what they think is more important than what anyone else in the world thinks.

What a strange coincidence that sociopaths, psychopaths and pretty much all other types of pathological narcissists will also attack anyone who does not believe them, and they are certain that what they think is more important than what anyone else in the world thinks, every single time.